8 tips for authors for building your confidence when self doubt strikes
We all have those moments where we lose faith in ourselves and our abilities, our self belief wobbles, or evaporates altogether, and we think ‘I can’t do this’.
Maybe you’ve reached that moment with your writing, you’re stuck and are beginning to doubt if you can keep going and do this. Or maybe you’ve had a rejection from an agent or publisher and are finding it hard to pick yourself up to send your book to other agents and publishers.
But if you are going to get that book written, or thrive in your career as an author, having tools you can use to pull yourself out of these feelings and back into feeling confident in your writing and your abilities is really important.
Here are some of my favourite confidence boost tips to help you when the self doubt strikes:
1. Keep a confidence boosting folder of all the great things you’ve done
Having tangible evidence of the things you’ve already achieved is a great way to remind yourself of what you can do. If someone sends you a really lovely email about your writing, keep it. Make a note of the things people say about you and your work. Save lovely book reviews. I would go as far as printing them out and keeping a physical folder that you can look through when yourself doubt is creeping in.
2. Remember what you have already achieved and celebrate the steps along the way
Linked to the above suggestion, try to remember and celebrate all those steps you’ve already taken. Where were you this time six months ago? a year ago? Be proud of all those things you’ve achieved between then and now, however big or small you think they are, they are all helping to move you in the right direction. I encourage the authors I work with to get in the habit of taking a moment to pause and celebrate what they’ve achieved at the end of each week.
3. Watch out for your negative self-talk
Our own inner critic can often be the harshest voice we hear. Watch what you let it say to yourself and know that the thoughts that pass through your mind aren’t necessarily true. Try to talk to yourself with compassion. When you have some challenging thoughts about your own abilities, imagine that instead you are talking to a friend, would you speak to them like that? No, I’m sure you wouldn’t. What would you say to them instead? Then try to use those words for yourself
4. Use affirmations
Our minds are powerful things. Create positive thinking by using affirmations. These are simple, positive statements that you can say to yourself every day to overcome your negative thoughts and reprogram how your brain thinks about certain situations.
I recommend writing a couple of powerful, positive personal affirmations that are relevant to the challenge that you are facing right now. Repeat these to yourself often. So, for example if you are feeling nervous about the promotion you might need to do for your book, you could reframe that and use ‘I am excited to tell people about my book’ as an affirmation.
5. Adopt a growth mindset rather than fixed
The term ‘growth mindset’ was originated by Carol Dweck and essentially means that you know that you can still grow, develop and learn rather than believing that your abilities are predetermined and fixed. So rather than thinking ‘I can’t do this’ for a particular task and that being the end of the matter, instead reframe it to ‘I can’t do this yet’ then work out how you can do the thing. Do you need more support? Maybe there is something you need to research or something you need to learn in order to the thing you’re stuck on? In essence it’s about not thinking that the current situation will be the situation forever, but something that you can, and will change, through your growth.
I find that adding a simple ‘yet’ can be really transformative in the way I think about challenges, ‘I can’t do this yet’, is a far more powerful, motivational and hopeful message to our brain, than ‘I can’t do this’.
6. Remember that the challenges you face are helping you grow and are part of the author journey
It would be great if everything was plain sailing but that’s not realistic. We all face challenges and obstacles in all aspects of our lives, both work and personal. As a writer, there are going to be a lot of moments that will feel challenging in your career at different stages. Knowing to expect them, and reframing how you see then as part of the journey, and an opportunity to grow your skills, learn something new, build your resilience and confidence will help you embrace them rather than let them derail you or being afraid of them.
7. Don’t judge yourself against others
Hands up if the moments you doubt yourself and your abilities quickly follow having seen what someone else is achieving? It is natural to compare yourself and your achievements to others but I urge you to try to not do it as it’s a fast track to undermining your own self belief. Focus on your path, what you’re doing. You can’t control anyone else but yourself so worrying about what others are achieving and feeling bad about your own achievements is a real waste of time and energy. And remember, often you’re making those judgements based on assumptions from what you’ve seen, or the edited highlights they’re sharing on social media, it is very likely that it’s not a true picture, you don’t know the struggles and challenges they face too.
Remember your why and use that to push through
Above all, remember what your purpose is.
Why are you writing your book?
What does your author career mean to you?
Keep that at the front of your mind. Remind yourself often of your ‘why’ and use that to give you momentum and motivation to help drive you through those challenging moments.
I hope this helps.
If you would like further support on dealing with self doubt and a lack of confidence you might like my short, intensive confidence boost session designed to look at what your challenges are right now and help you move past them quickly and get back on track with working towards what you want to achieve. More details are here.
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